


Thor Ships It

by apollothyme



Category: Marvel
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-26
Updated: 2011-10-26
Packaged: 2017-10-24 23:52:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/269304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apollothyme/pseuds/apollothyme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for <span><strong><a href="http://capkink.livejournal.com/1973.html?thread=1470645#t1470645">this prompt </a></strong><em></em>on LJ: Steve/Tony; Thor Ships It [Avengers movieverse] - Thor believes Steve and Tony are meant to be together, and comes up with all sorts of ridiculous plans to make it happen. Some of them involve Darcy and her taser.</span></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Tony couldn’t help but find this meeting a bit odd. For one Thor was the one to call it. It’s not that Thor wasn’t a big part of the team with all the rights to call in a meeting. _But it was Thor._

The guy could barely use his Avenger card, and Tony knew for a fact Thor would rather rush into a battle first and call his troops for help later. He wasn’t the type of guy to hold a meeting first discussing all the details.

Another strange thing was that on his way to the meeting room Tony didn't meet any of the other Avengers.

Normally Steve would have waited for him near the kitchen, and they would have made their way down to the meeting room together. Instead he was all alone. 

When Tony reached the Big Room, as Clint had started to call it, he found it to be completely empty, with all of the lights turned off.

“What the hell?” Tony only got the chance to walk two steps inside when someone used a taser on him, electrifying all the cells in his body in a single second.

He couldn’t be very sure, but Tony could swear he had heard a muttered “sorry” as he collapsed on the floor like a broken robot.

\----

When Tony woke up he found himself inside a darkened room, lying on an empty bed. 

Even though the lights were turned off he could still make the shapes of the furniture around him: a wooden desk, an empty chair, a nightstand, some paintings and a window. It only took him a couple of minutes to realize he was inside one of the many empty guest rooms in the Avengers’ mansion.

 _  
Well whoever kidnapped me this time didn’t really put on much of an effort.   
_

He tried to get up but his body still felt numb from the electrical shock, and all of his efforts only sufficed in the creation a mild headache.

“Tony? Are you awake?”

A voice came from the shadows, a very distinctive male voice that Tony could recognize even in the darkest day of his life, _Steve._

"Yes Steve. Did they take you too?” Everything suddenly felt a lot better and a lot more confusing. Having Steve there with him was a comforting, thought it rose up a whole new batch of questions alongside the old ones.

Who had kidnapped them? Why would they want them both? Were they after all of the Avengers? Kidnapping them one by one? Or maybe they just want to use Steve’s blood and Tony’s potential genius?

And most importantly, why the hell were they in the Avengers Mansion?

“Yeah. What did you do to Thor Tony?” Steve had moved from the shadows now, sitting on the chair in front of the desk and facing Tony’s general direction. 

Tony couldn’t be very sure on where exactly Steve was looking at due to the lack of light in the bedroom.

He hadn’t tried flipping the switch on yet, but he calculated whoever had took them had broken it otherwise Steve would have turned the light on my now, right?

“Thor? What does Thor have to do with us getting kidnapped? What’s going on Steve?”

“Well he was the one that dragged me here, said there were important things for us to discuss and that you were <just sleeping>.” Tony was surprised to find Steve doing air quotes as he talked, he had no way Steve even knew what air quotes were. Steve also sounded very tired as he talked, as if this was all some stupid joke between kids and he was the mother left to fix up the mess.

“I didn’t do anything! Thor called in a meeting but when I got to the room someone tased me and then I woke up here.” His voice sounded harsh, probably harsher than it should sound like since he was just talking to Steve, who didn’t deserve any of Tony’s yelling.But this whole story didn’t make any sense, and as each second passed he only got more and more frustrated.

“So…. You didn’t do anything to Thor?” Asked Steve who suddenly looked very lost on what to do. It was almost hilarious how you could throw Captain America into a war, and he would fit into it just peachy, but if you throw him into the middle of a fight between his friends that isn’t actually a real fight, he’ll just get confused and start looking like a lost puppy.

 _  
A very cute lost puppy.   
_   


No wait, a normal puppy. Not cute, dammit Tony really needed to stop thinking of his teammate as anything but a non-attractive friend. Steve was from the 40’s for heaven’s sake; he was an honest-to-God American soldier who fought in WWII! He was not, nor will he ever be, gay.

 _  
A shame really.   
_

“No. Did you?” Tony knew Steve hadn’t done anything to Thor, Steve never does anything to upset any of his friends, but he felt like asking anyway. Just so things were even between them both.

“No.” His reply was quick and Steve spoke as he looked down on the ground, making him look even more like a lost puppy. It was impressive really, for a man that size to convey such a look of pure adorableness.

In the next few minutes the two men simply stared at random places in the room. Trying to make some sense of what was going on.

So far Tony had only gotten that they had both been kidnapped, Thor was somehow involved, Steve looked cute when he didn’t know what to do and they were inside his Mansion. Quite odd.

In the middle of all the empty staring, Tony decided he mind swell look around in the bedroom and search for some clues as to what was going on. 

He searched beneath the bed, inside the drawers in the nightstand, behind the paintings... Meanwhile Steve just looked at him.

Tony knew Steve had probably searched the room before he woke up but if he did, he didn’t say anything about it so Tony just continued to search.

Inside of his pockets Tony had nothing that he could use as a make-shift key for the door. Also whoever had kidnapped them had probably put some kind reinforcement on it, so that brute strength couldn’t smash it down. 

Nevertheless he tried to turn the knob; maybe it could help him find out some way to open it. The door opened.

Just like that. 

Tony quietly opened it all the way out, not quite believing what his eyes were showing him. Outside of the guest bedroom was one of the many corridors on the Avengers Mansion, and Tony couldn’t be one hundred percent sure but he would guess they were in 1C.

He slowly turned around, looking at Steve squarely in the face as the new light of the corridor illuminated the whole room.

“Steve, did you try to open the door?” He spoke calmly, as if talking to a small child.

“… Not really, since it was Thor that put us here I didn’t think it was necessary.” His gaze shifted to the other side of the bedroom, pointedly avoiding looking at Tony.

After that Tony tried to switch on the light switch. It worked.

The bright light filled the room, though it didn’t make much of a difference since the corridor was already doing that job.

Steve and Tony stood there for a couple of seconds. Well, Tony stood on the doorway, Steve was still sitting by the chair on the desk. Everything still felt very confusing to Tony.

On a normal kidnapping, when the door for your release is opened you usually try to make a break for it. This wasn’t a normal situation though, and for once in his life Tony really didn’t know what he should do. Everything just felt confusing, a bit scary, but mostly confusing.

Tony had a feeling that Steve secretly knew what was going on, and that the other man was either too embarrassed to tell Tony the truth or even though he did know what was going on, he didn’t know what to make of it. Whatever the possibility, Tony knew the chances of Steve telling him were very slim by the way the other man was still looking at the floor.

Tony tentatively took a step outside the bedroom. Nothing happened.

And that was when he heard the giggles coming from the next door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for **[this prompt](http://capkink.livejournal.com/1973.html?thread=1470645#t1470645)** __on LJ: Steve/Tony; Thor Ships It [Avengers movieverse] - Thor believes Steve and Tony are meant to be together, and comes up with all sorts of ridiculous plans to make it happen. Some of them involve Darcy and her taser.

Tony stepped out of the room he and Steve had been enclosed in and quickly made his away to the source of the giggling. His genius mind was already starting to put all the pieces of the events form the last hour together, and numerous new possibilities started to appear on his head. Possibilities that in a normal situation would have sounded completely ridiculous, but seemed largely plausible this time.

He turned the knob quietly, trying to not alert whoever was in the room, though it really wasn’t necessary since one of the persons inside was now booming with laughter, silencing all the other sounds.

Tony could recognize that laugh anywhere, it was full of life and joy, a true laugh that all humans dream of having and as so, it belonged to an Asgardian.

Thor and Darcy stood inside the guest room, both of them inched closely to the wall connecting to Tony’s was previously trapped on. They held glasses near their ears, which made them look like small kids, trying to spy on the adults. It was a useless try though; Tony had built the mansion so that the walls were impervious to sound. 

Steve was right behind Tony, though he stayed a few steps behind, obviously not comfortable enough to get any closer.

 _  
“What. The. Hell?”    
_   
Tony’s question somehow managed to sound annoyed, disbelieving and incredulous all at the same time. Quite a feat.

As quickly as lighting, Thor and Darcy turned around to face Tony. Darcy at least had the decency to look a little bit embarrassed to being caught spying by Tony and Steve, while Thor on the other hand just smiled more brightly than ever and stepped closer to Tony with both his arms extended.

“My friends, it is great to see you together! Me and Darcy are very happy to know you are now a couple!”

Okay. And that was really not what Tony was expecting.

 _  
A couple? He and Steve?   
_   
Had Thor somehow figured out Tony played for both teams and had a crush on Steve? But how? Tony had been so careful.

And Thor really didn’t sound like the most astute guy when it came to romance. But truth be told, for all Tony knew Thor – the God of Thunder could actually mean Cupid – the God of Love in Asgardian. Or maybe Darcy was the one to alert him, that made more sense.

But before Tony got the chance to deny everything and anything that Thor said, Steve spoke.

“No Thor. And even though I appreciate what you and Darcy did, I think it’s better if you guys stopped.” He spoke with odd pauses between his words, searching for the right way to talk so that he didn’t reveal too much.

“But my friend, Darcy told me that when two lovers encounter each other on a locked room, only love, can be the result!” Thor sounded so flabbergast it was almost funny. Tony would have probably laughed at the look on his face if he weren’t so dammed confused about everything that was going on.

A small, rather more logical part of his brain had quickly put everything together: that Thor and Darcy had been trying to set him and Steve up and that Steve knew, which could only mean Steve was interested in him.

But the other part of Tony’s brain, a bigger one, was still taking a while to make sense of all the data. It disbelieved his own eyes and ears since the possibility of Steve liking him seemed so alien and impossible.

 _  
Wasn’t Steve straight?   
_   
Tony was sure Steve was straight. He looked straight and he had never mentioned any interest in men. Then again, Steve came from the 40’s so maybe even if he was interested in man, he wouldn’t really show it.

 _  
That definitely adds a twist to things.   
_

“Well, actually, I just wanted to see if they were going to have sex.” Said Darcy in a matter of fact tone, while jumping a little on the heel of her feet. Forget what had been said about her looking embarrassed, she was probably just trying to hide her perverted blush.

“Wait, so you three tased me and then locked me in a room with Steve so that we could _discuss our feelings_?” Tony couldn’t believe is own ears, because if this was some kind of plan, it was a rather shitty one.

“Well it’s not like we had another choice you big idiot! At first we tried giving you not so subtle hints on Steve’s feelings, then we tried to make you two meet in a no escape situation by accident, but you were always busy or you got distracted by something else. Tasing you was the only way.” Thor nodded along with Darcy’s speech, and Steve who had now stepped into the room to stand by the two Cupids was looking at the wall as if it was the most interesting thing he had ever seen.

Tony stared open mouthed at the three of them.

Now that he thought about it, Tony did remember that time where Thor had spent an hour telling him all of Steve’s might achievements, as if Tony didn’t already knew. And Darcy had once invited him for coffee where they pretty much only discussed his current love life, and then Steve’s current love life.

And there was that time Captain America got trapped in a cave for two hours! Iron Man was supposed to walk in with him to search for an artifact, but Hawkeye had called him for help on the last minute and Cap had ended up entering alone. It took them forever to remove all the rocks covering the entrance to the cave…

As Tony began to realize the full scale of Darcy’s words, several important things that he really needed to say about their ridiculous plans and how dangerous and stupid they were ran through his head. Weirdly, they all seemed to dissolve on themselves the second they appeared, with a much more important thought taking up all the space on Tony’s head.

He had been tased in the name of love, and his love for America’s wet dream was reciprocated.

“You two: out. Now.” Commanded Tony. He pointed two fingers directly at Darcy and Thor, and tried to put on his best menacing glance so that they left without rising up any objections. It was probably one of the fakest looks Tony had ever done, especially considering how happy he actually was.

Luckily Thor and Darcy were never very good at catching a liar on the act, and they left without saying anything else. They both looked quite defeated, and Tony even saw Darcy cast an apologetic glance at Steve.

Before the door even closed behind Thor, Steve was already speaking in a furious pace, trying to explain himself.

“Tony I’m sorry, I didn’t know they were going to tase you, I just thought they were going to drag you by your arms or something. I should have told you the truth-“

“Steve.”

“I really didn’t mean to let things to this far-“ For a man as smart as Steve, you would think he would stop and listen when others were trying to tell him important information.

“ _Steve.”_

“And I’m really sorry, I hope we can still-”And how did he even manage to talk so much without having to stop to catch his breath?

“Steve I love you.”

“Be friends.” Finally a stop for air, he didn’t even seem ruffled the least bit. If it were Tony he would have probably been gasping by now. 

“Wait, you what?” 

“I love you.”

“Oh.”

To say the silence that followed afterwards was awkward would probably be the understatement of the year. Steve was now looking at Tony with a rather dazzled look, probably trying to make sense of Tony’s words. Leaving Tony with nothing to do but stare at his gorgeous body, something he never had the opportunity to openly do before.

And really, wasn’t Steve a lovely sight for sore eyes. All lean muscles carved perfectly into the clothes; he looked like a Greek God. A very hot, probably bisexual, Greek God who Tony could now have. Oh, the things Steve could probably do in bed… Tony shuddered just by thinking of all the immense possibilities.

After a couple of minutes of Tony staring at Steve, the Greek God still hadn’t said anything, and Tony was starting to fear that maybe Steve wasn’t that open about his sexuality. Right on cue though, a yell was heard from the other side of the door.

“Just make out already!” Tony mentally thanked Darcy for her persistence and good sense of opportunity because the yell seemed to snap Steve out of his daze, and Tony took it as the perfect opportunity to do as the lady had commanded, and kiss the hell out of Steve.

Tony had half expected Steve to kiss like an awkward teenager, unsure of where to put his hands and how to move his tongue. God, how was he wrong.

Steve kissed exactly like the way he looked in tight jeans and an old t-shirt: pornographic.

His hands held Tony closely by the small of his back, as their tongues battled for dominance, though Tony knew it was a lost battle when a moan escaped his lips without him meaning to.

The air around them seemed to get heavier as each second passed, their kiss growing more languid and heated. Tony’s hands dropped down to Steve’s zipper but he didn’t have the chance to open it because Steve placed both his hands on top of Tony’s, stopping him, and whispered right into his ear.

“Maybe we should move things to another room?” He gave a jerky nod to the door, trying to indicate that on the other side of their small room a Norse God and an over-enthusiastic matchmaker were probably glued to the door, trying to listen in.

“Mine or yours?”


End file.
